GeNtleVe's WOrLd....

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision".. . not just a feeling..

Extracted from an email, author unknown

You coloured my life @
10:17 AM
[c]d4rkang3l

Everything about ME

My Saying

"LiFe Is UnCeRtAiN... ";

" If U ArE In HaPpInEsS, TrY To PrOlOnG It...";

" If U ArE In SaDnEsS, TrY To ShOrTeN It By WaLkIng OuT Of It... ";

" ChErIsH WaT Is ArOuNd YoU... ";

" YoU OnLy NoE WaT U HaVe GoT WhEn U HaV LoSt It... ";

" NeVeR TaKe AnYoNe FoR GrAnTeD...";

" OnE DaY U MaY WaKe Up To ReAlIsE ThAt U HaVe LoSt A DiAmOnD WhIlE BuSy CoLlEcTiNg StOnEs...";

" HaPpInEsS Is LoSt WhEn AnY ThOuGhTs Of EnVy Or HaTrEd CrEePs In. ThOuGhTs Of LoVe AnD GoOd WiShEs CuRe SoRrOw....";

Detests

Hates liars, cheaters, hypocrites, snobbish pigs & people who trys to act smart.

Wishes

* A dream car
* Porcelain skin
* Holiday trip with my family
* Lots and lots of pretty clothes, shoes etc...

Jukebox

02 朋友,請不要傷悲 Peng You, Qing Bu Yao Shang Bei - 林峰 Raymond Lamb>Talks

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